Wife, Mother, Hunter – I hit the jackpot!

Today marks 23 years of being married to the most amazing woman in the world.

She knows I know it, and now you know it.

This is a story about my wife becoming a hunter. It was originally published in American Hunter magazine. 


Wife, mother, hunter.

“I think I’d like to try hunting.” I couldn’t have been more astonished if my wife would’ve told me she wanted a sex change. After 20 years together I wanted to think some of me had rubbed off but I knew credit for this directional change was owed to another. No matter, the thought that my best friend might help me pass on the legacy of hunting to our children was inspiring. Memories of time spent in the woods with my mom began to stealthily creep out from where they’d been hiding.

Three things, sustenance, security, and sex primarily drive humans. Almost everything humans do is to fulfill these lusts. Next on the list of what drives our species is entertainment and it influences the three primary motivators. If humans can flavor their acquisition of food, shelter, and sex with entertainment, they’re happier humans. We’re driven by instincts, but gourmet cooking, fancy homes and various fetishes are the secret sauce that makes us smile.

Through our years together I’d never pushed Drema to hunt. I did encourage her to carry a gun; 13 years of chasing bad guys leaves no doubt in your mind about the importance of being armed. Finally she caved to my urgings and she and my sister attended a defensive handgun course at Gunsite Academy. For Drema it was an empowering, life changing experience. When I asked her about it, her response was not about how much fun she had. She simply said, “If someone was trying to hurt our kids or me, I’d shoot them to the ground.”

Shortly after, I introduced Drema to Linda Powell. Like my wife, Linda is a lady but Linda is also a hunter. They hit it off and for three years they and several other ladies conduct an annual pilgrimage to Gunsite to receive shooting instruction. Though I mostly looked at their escapades as extended weekend retreats, little did I know something else was occurring.

Drema and Linda Powell – the person most responsible for making her a hunter.

As Drema became more proficient with shooting and underwent repeated exposed to Linda’s stories about hunting all over the world, she began to find the combination to unlock the hunting gene embedded in us all. I think Drema realized her interests in prowling the isles of grocery stores and continually searching for tasty recipes to enhance her desire for sustenance were nothing more than the hunter in her wanting out.

Armed with a rifle, warm clothes and advice I put her on stand during the opening day of deer season. Within 30 minutes she had a close encounter with a mature buck. She did not get a shot but she was bitten with the whitetail rush. The combination lock popped off the chains holding the hunter inside her at bay. She told me, “I don’t know how I’ll feel if I kill a deer but I want to.”

After deer season Linda called asking if I thought Drema might like to go to Africa with us to test a new rifle from Mossberg. Drema was euphoric about the prospect but noticeably apprehensive. We practiced religiously prior to the trip. Boarding the plane I knew that, one way or the other; the next 10 days would change Drema’s life. Also, with euphoric anticipation, I realized instead of hunting with my Mom I would be hunting with the mother of my children.

Gerhard “Gerry” Pretorius with African Bullet Safaris met us at the airport in Johannesburg. We drove straight to the lodge, just outside of Lephalale, and close to the green and greasy Limpopo. With an after midnight arrival it was next day noon before we hit the bush. Gerry, Drema, and I headed out to a water hole. A hushed conversation with Gerry clued him in on Drema’s background. Grinning, he said, “No worries.” Still, knowing the importance of the event and the anxiety on Drema’s shoulders, I was.

Drema and her professional hunter working at the range.

Few things are comparable to the wonderment of an African waterhole. Your ears take in a musical soundtrack reminiscent of the movie Hatari and your eyes are awash with kaleidoscope of colors and shapes. A red hartebeest cow and calf walked under our elevated blind. A waterbuck emerged from the bush to get a drink. Egyptian geese fed on the far bank. Drema looked at me, eyes wide like when they beheld at out first-born, and whispered, “Wow!”

The plan was to start out slow; let Drema take a sure shot at an impala or a warthog and several were frequenting the waterhole. Gerry had her track a young impala with her rifle for several minutes. He and I knew it was immature but we also knew time behind the rifle would ease the tension and ready her when the real time came. Moments later it did when two regally massive gemsbok marched into the water hole. I whispered to Gerry, “That’s what she really wants to try for.”

Calmly, Gerry asked Dream, “Do you want to try for the gemsbok?”

Drema nervously grinned, like a kid who’d been offered their first chance to ride a roller coaster, “Yes! Can I?”

Drema’s gemsbok. Her first animal ever.

Exhibiting true field earned professionalism, nonchalantly Gerry told her to wait for a good shot and go for it. Later, he told me with that tremendous trophy within her reach, and knowing Drema had never shot at an animal, his heart was beating out of his chest. He said, “I knew if I let my excitement show it would be contagious, possibly inducing a bad shot.”

The little Mossberg .243 Winchester barked and an 85-grain Partition started its critical journey across the waterhole. For Drema, it was the most important bullet she’d ever fired. Her future as a hunter depended on its point of impact and performance. The bullet struck a third of the way up the gemsbok’s chest, straight above the leg. I knew it was over. Drema shucked the bolt like the Gunsite trainee she was and the gemsbok disappeared behind a tall stand of papyrus. She turned and looked at me with an expression that in 20 years I’d never seen on her face.

“Did I get it?”

Wiping a tear that had already appeared in the corner of my eye I said, “Yes, she is yours!” and I pointed to the other side of the papyrus where the gemsbok had piled up. Drema had trouble speaking during the laugh-like cry bursting from within. Tears welled in her eyes and I desperately fought to hold back mine and to let her see nothing but a smile. Gerry was congratulating her but I don’t think she heard a word. Visibly shaken, it was a several moments before Drema could stand.

Gerry went for the truck and Drema and I walked the hundred plus yards to the gemsbok. I watched her touch the horns and bury her hands in the mercury colored hide. And, in her eyes, I saw the unmistakable look of a hunter. Yes, she could shoot an animal and yes, she could kill it humanely. Drema was experiencing a Christmas morning sensation generally only reserved for adolescents.


The next day Drema took a close range impala while I acted as her professional hunter. That evening, while hunting with Linda, she fired her final shot of the safari. Linda was after an eland when they stumbled on a herd of wildebeest. She suggested Drema try for one and a stalk began. At 180 yards they ran out of cover and Drema, shooting off the sticks, sent another Partition on an even longer journey.

Drema then got to experience another sensation. “There was very little blood and I was upset that I had only hurt him. I know it happens, but I was not ready for it to happen to me.” The bush was thick but a brief search turned up a massive bull only 30 yards away. “He was amazing! He just looked so massive and beautiful laying there.” That night at the fire ring Drema told her tale and we later enjoyed the wild protein she had harvested.

Getting to guide your wife on her first African safari is a special experience. I hope it happens again soon.

Surveys and experts suggest more women are becoming interested in hunting. For some, like my sister who hunted with her mother, it’s a natural instinct. Her hunting gene was unlocked and nourished from birth. For others, the journey can be as far as from the West Virginia hills to the bush veldt of South Africa. All humans are predators – hunters. It’s why we have depth-perceiving eyes, teeth designed to chew meat and the intellect to help us outsmart our quarry. Those of us reared like lion clubs – by parents who hunt – are destined to carry on that instinctive tradition. Others need a helping hand along the way.

After Drema’s departure from South Africa I headed south of Kimberly, to ground just north of the Orange River to hunt with my son. One night at the fire ring I heard a most profound statement. Geoffrey Wayland, who operates Fort Richmond safaris said, “You must take what Africa gives you.” Africa gave my best friend the key to unlock her hunting instinct. It gave me another hunter to share my life with. And, it gave our kids the opportunity to grow up like I did, hunting with my mom in a family that recognized that’s what humans are supposed to do.

Never underestimate a woman. After 20 years they might just one day decide to become a hunter.


On West Virginia’s opening day of deer season during the fall following her safari, Drema headed out in the dark. She was on her own and had no assistance from me. A few hours and one shot later she had venison on the ground and our two daughters and I helped her bring the protein home. When it comes to passing on the hunting tradition, moms matter. For the next generation of my family that tradition is now guaranteed to continue.

This is how a real woman feeds her kids.

SIDEBAR: Hunting Tools for Moms

The Mossberg Drema has used from Appalachia to Africa.

The term “lady’s rifle” gets tossed around by those with a harry chest like it is a lesser firearm. Often, the focus is on the cartridge but where it should be is on fit. When it comes to women, they need the same thing from a rifle a man does. It needs to fit them. But, that’s the problem; most hunting rifles are sized for the average man, which is, on average, bigger than the average woman.

Mossberg’s media relation’s manager, Linda Powell, outfitted Drema perfectly for her safari. Mossberg’s compact ATR Youth Super Bantam has a length of pull adjustable from 12 to 13 inches and with its short, 20 inch barrel, overall length is less than a meter. Weighing in at less than seven pounds, a quality, high-resolution scope, like Swarovski’s Z3 3-9X 36mm, can be added without over burdening the shooter.

As for cartridge choice, some will question the .243 Winchester for use on African plains game. Drema manages the accounts payable department at a large coalmine, where most of the hairy chests are hunters who think magnums are needed to kill a whitetail. The key to cleanly taking any animal is shot placement and bullet performance. Hunters shoot better with rifles that don’t knock them cross-eyed and terminally speaking, the Nosler Partition cannot be outclassed.

Drema delivered textbook shot placement and humane kills during her first Safari. All told, better than the veterans she hunted with. This happened because she had good training at Gunsite Academy, because she had a comfortable shooting rifle that fit her, and because she practiced often beforehand. With that road map and a little help unlocking that sometimes hidden gene, the term “hunter” can apply equally to the fairer sex. Just ask the next lioness you meet.