{"id":8739,"date":"2014-04-10T15:44:04","date_gmt":"2014-04-10T15:44:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ramworks.net\/blog\/?p=8739"},"modified":"2014-11-14T14:08:37","modified_gmt":"2014-11-14T14:08:37","slug":"mountain-monsters-a-call-for-help-to-my-industry-friends","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/mountain-monsters-a-call-for-help-to-my-industry-friends\/","title":{"rendered":"Mountain Monsters – (A call for help to my industry friends.)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Last night after all the kids were asleep, Drema and I found some time on our hands. She has been off work for the past two days due to a vicious stomach \"mountain_monsters_about_da\"<\/a>virus so instead of getting out the Monopoly game we decided to look for something on TV to watch.<\/p>\n

Flipping through the channels I stopped when I saw this Hatfield and McCoy looking feller, with a flop hat and a lever action rifle, talking about some sort of monster. As it turns out it he was a fellow West Virginian who has got some of his ugliest friends together and started his own television show called Mountain Monsters.\u00a0<\/a><\/p>\n

Little did I know there was an underground monster hunting organization in the Appalachian Mountains<\/a> that was based out of my home state! Its called AIMS which stands for the Appalachian Investigators of Mysterious Sightings and they are at the ready to identify and snare fictional beasts in the hope of helping local mountain communities rest more easily. (Honestly, I\u2019m not making this shit up.)<\/p>\n

Its almost like they are right out of the pages of a Larry Correia<\/a> novel and are card carrying members of Monster Hunter Nation<\/a>. Problem is, I don\u2019t think these hillbillies have ever read a Larry Correia book because they are woefully ill equipped to deal with the beasts they are pitting their limited wits against.<\/p>\n

The first thing I feel I should do is make a call out to Larry<\/a> and have him send these boys a copy of all his books so they can, like they say on the West coast, \u201cget their poop grouped.\u201d The next thing I think I should do is provide these backwoodsmen with some firearms training before they accidently shoot one of their camera men.\u00a0No, maybe I should just see if the boys at Gunsite<\/a> will offer at least one day of free training for the group. They could fly a few instructors in and use the new range here at Shadowland<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Because of this sense of duty I feel toward my fellow mountain dwellers, I\u2019m making a call out to my friends in the industry to get these gentlemen equipped with some good kit. I noticed the leader of the group, John Trapper Tice, was wearing a Glock. Heavens! You can\u2019t hunt monsters with a Glock!<\/p>\n

\"timthumb\"<\/a>I think Mossberg<\/a> should step up and equip each of these brave souls with a 590 Special Purpose<\/a> for when they\u2019re after the Lizard Demon. Remington should provide them with R15s in .30 Remington AR <\/a>and Nightforce<\/a> should throw in a NXS Compact 1-4Xs<\/a> with an illuminated reticle for when they are night fighting the Kentucky Hell Hound. (One of them boys was carrying a Savage 99!) Timney<\/a> could provide new triggers and Buffalo Bore<\/a> could ship them crates of ammo.<\/p>\n

They\u2019ll also need quality handguns and that means a 1911 or a Browning Hi-Power. Galco<\/a> can fit them all up with Miami Classic Shoulder Rigs<\/a> and XS<\/a> can \"hh\"provide the 24\/7 sights. A Remington R 51 <\/a>in a Versacarry<\/a> would make a neat little backup gun and of course Crimson Trace<\/a> can provide lasers for all these handguns. I\u2019m not sure whether a red or green laser would be appropriate for taking on the Grassman though. (By the way, what the hell is the Grassman?)<\/p>\n

One of the group claims to be a Marine and since I did not see any long range tools at their disposal, Sisk Rifles<\/a> could loan them one of his STAR rifles<\/a> and Nightforce could top it off with one of their new SHV riflescopes<\/a>. Hey, if you\u2019re going after the Moth Man<\/a>, I\u2019d suggest you keep your distance.<\/p>\n

For a moment I contemplated contacting Mountain Khakis<\/a> and asking them to help the team with their wardrobe but good looking and rugged outdoor clothing might detract from the redneck appeal of the production. And, I\u2019m not sure MK has anything to fit the one they call Buck.<\/p>\n

If these dudes can get kitted up properly and, if they\u2019ll read Larry\u2019s books about real monster hunters, I might invite them up to Shadowland<\/a>. I\u2019ve been seeing tracks and hearing noises at night and I\u2019m about convinced there\u2019s a Wookalar<\/a> lurking in the rocks up behind the house.\u00a0I’d go take care of it myself but being a family man and all…<\/p>\n

The last thing this group of monster fighting hill jacks need is a woman in their ranks. How could you possibly put together a production like this and not have the token female in the mix. The question is, which woman should I ask to join their ranks?<\/p>\n

[poll id=”43″]<\/p>\n

In all seriousness, if you need a good laugh, set your DVR to record one of these episodes. It will change your life and you\u2019ll get a real look at what goes on back in these hills.<\/p>\n

\"DM\"When the show went off last night, and when Drema wiped the tears of laughter from her eyes, she asked me if I\u2019d call Buzz Mills at Gunsite to see if he could find us a home somewhere in Arizona. Seems she was a bit embarrassed about how us hill folk were being portrayed.<\/p>\n

I told her it was not a very good idea because the last time I was at Gunsite I thought I saw a dust monster and that I didn\u2019t figure the AIMS team would travel that far just to help to displaced hillbillies out of a jam.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Last night after all the kids were asleep, Drema and I found some time on our hands. She has been off work for the past two days due to a vicious stomach virus so instead of getting out the Monopoly game we decided to look for something on TV to watch. Flipping through the channels I stopped when I saw this Hatfield …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8739","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5hujZ-2gX","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":17159,"url":"https:\/\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/the-synthetic-hunter\/","url_meta":{"origin":8739,"position":0},"title":"The Synthetic Hunter","author":"gunwriter","date":"April 9, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Every red-blooded hunter or outdoorsman has heard of Jeremiah Johnson, or they have at least watched the movie several times. Loosely based on the book\u00a0Crow Killer,\u00a0which was about a real mountain man named John Jeremiah Garrison \u201cLiver-Eating\u201d Johnson, the movie has become an iconic anthem to hunters. Every hunter, whether\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "EDITORIAL"","block_context":{"text":"EDITORIAL","link":"https:\/\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/category\/editorial\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/elk.jpg?fit=1151%2C875&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/elk.jpg?fit=1151%2C875&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/elk.jpg?fit=1151%2C875&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/elk.jpg?fit=1151%2C875&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/elk.jpg?fit=1151%2C875&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":8650,"url":"https:\/\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/a-contest-you-need-to-enter\/","url_meta":{"origin":8739,"position":1},"title":"A Contest You Need to Enter","author":"gunwriter","date":"March 26, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"There are lots of contests on the Internet. Few offer a prize package as varied as this one. I don't often enter contests but I took the time to fill out this entry form. Why? Well, look at what you can win: Mountain Khakis\u00ae & Overland Journal\u00ae Present the Tonto\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"Free Gear\"","block_context":{"text":"Free Gear","link":"https:\/\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/tag\/free-gear\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"OverlandSweepstakes_WebsiteHeader_586x395","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/OverlandSweepstakes_WebsiteHeader_586x395.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/OverlandSweepstakes_WebsiteHeader_586x395.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/OverlandSweepstakes_WebsiteHeader_586x395.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":7894,"url":"https:\/\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/hunters-lunch\/","url_meta":{"origin":8739,"position":2},"title":"Hunters Lunch","author":"gunwriter","date":"December 25, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Sometimes the best part of the hunt ends up in your tummy. Marlin 1894 in .327 Federal, Case Hobo knife, Mountain Khaki hat, Sitka gloves and sharp cheddar cheese and beef stick.","rel":"","context":"In \"best part of hunting\"","block_context":{"text":"best part of hunting","link":"https:\/\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/tag\/best-part-of-hunting\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"HB","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/HB-1024x702.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/HB-1024x702.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/HB-1024x702.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/HB-1024x702.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":14410,"url":"https:\/\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/chasing-dad-from-under-orion\/","url_meta":{"origin":8739,"position":3},"title":"CHASING DAD – From Under Orion","author":"gunwriter","date":"August 21, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"This is the first deer season I've spent without my father to tell\u00a0the stories to. It's just not as much fun. December 1964: The deer hunter set on a rock with his rifle across his lap. It was the last day of season and any deer was legal. He was\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "EDITORIAL"","block_context":{"text":"EDITORIAL","link":"https:\/\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/category\/editorial\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/IMG_7512-2.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/IMG_7512-2.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/IMG_7512-2.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/IMG_7512-2.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/IMG_7512-2.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":13255,"url":"https:\/\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/into-the-wilderness\/","url_meta":{"origin":8739,"position":4},"title":"Into the Wilderness","author":"gunwriter","date":"April 20, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"I recently returned from a backcountry bear hunt with Horse Creek Outfitters. 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A first book is very important to the author and it deserves an Introduction worthy of the content\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "EDITORIAL"","block_context":{"text":"EDITORIAL","link":"https:\/\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/category\/editorial\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/C3.jpg?fit=1000%2C571&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/C3.jpg?fit=1000%2C571&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/C3.jpg?fit=1000%2C571&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/C3.jpg?fit=1000%2C571&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8739","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8739"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8739\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8739"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8739"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/empty-cases.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8739"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}